


Vine References

by bisexualknuckles



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Domestic Avengers, Gen, I forgot to add Bruce and I hate myself for it, Peter likes to annoy the Avengers, Vines, vine references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-28 23:30:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15717306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualknuckles/pseuds/bisexualknuckles
Summary: Peter won't stop making Vine references around the other Avengers, and they're all getting pissed. Well, almost all of them.





	Vine References

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little thing I wrote on Tumblr. I forgot to add Bruce for some reason and now I hate myself, but here it is anyways.

 

Peter would be lying if he said he didn’t like to mess with his team mates. It was especially great when he let on about something, and no one would know what he was referring to.

The references just kept coming, and Peter couldn’t help the fact that none of the other Avengers knew what the hell he was talking about. It was funnier to not explain it to them anyways. 

The first time it had started was when he was hanging out with Tony in his lab. Tony was piddling with something near one of his cars, and Peter had decided to help himself to sitting in one of his many European vehicles. 

“Please don’t scratch the leather.” Tony had pleaded, a vague threat looming behind his words. 

Peter rolled his eyes, but gave him the usual, “Of course not, Mr. Stark.” 

There was silence in the room as Tony began fiddling with his robots again, and Peter had taken it upon himself to grip the steering wheel, moving it slightly from side to side. 

“I’m in me mom’s car.” Peter mumbled, adjusting himself in the seat.

Tony looked up at him, furrowing his eyebrows. “What?”

Peter bit back a grin as he finished with, “Broom Broom.”

“Did you just say you were in your mother’s car?” 

“You’re supposed to say, ‘get out me car.’“ 

Tony scowled, swiveling around in his chair. “Peter,  _what the fuck_  are you talking about?” 

“Aw.” 

“Peter, isn’t your mother  _dead_?”

Peter had to strangle a strange noise that sounded like a mixture of a laugh and a gasp. Tony was still confused, and Peter was living for it. 

* * *

 

Clint, Natasha, and Bucky sat at the dinner table with Peter. All of them seemed bored, either playing on their phones, or sleeping with their head face down on the table. 

Clint gave a loud sigh, glancing over at Peter. “We should get McDonalds.”

“That is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

“I can concur.” Natasha deadpanned, already pulling out her wallet. “Are we all going to go, or just two of us? One can’t go because  _someone_  ( _she gave Bucky a pointed look)_  doesn’t know how a drive thru works.” 

“It’s not my fault the talking box gives me the creeps. Just go in and order like a normal person, dammit.” Bucky growled, crossing his arms. 

Natasha rolled her eyes, turning her attention to Clint. “Okay, how should we pay?”

Clint dug through his pockets, only to produce a small wad of lint and a penny that seemed to be from Canada. “Uh, I’m a little low on funds. Peter, how much money do you have on you?”

Peter pulled out his wallet, sighing at the lack of green in it. “Sixty-nine cents.”

Clint and Bucky both snorted like high school boys, as Natasha rolled her eyes. Peter knew they wouldn’t finish the vine, but he could hear himself saying it in his head. “Well-”

“I don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets.” Peter pretended to sob, holding his face in his hands. 

Natasha blinked, and Clint looked just as thoroughly confused. “Whoa, dude, you don’t have to cry. We can be civil people and use Tony’s credit card.”

Bucky snorted, looking at Peter. “I’ve never seen anyone cry over chicken nuggets. It’s not even real chicken.”

Peter looked like he was still sobbing, but he was really only shaking with laughter. God, these people had no links to social media, it seemed. Maybe it was better that way. 

Tony’s credit card ended up saving the day, but when Peter actually got his chicken nuggets, they were cold. McDonald’s got their order wrong anyways.

* * *

 

Thor and Loki had no idea why Peter was trying laughing so hard not to laugh when they entered Chili’s. They really didn’t understand what was going on when Peter finally burst into laughter when the waitress greeted them with, “Hi, welcome to Chili’s!”

Loki raised an eyebrow, glancing at his brother. “Is he okay?”

Thor looked concerned, glancing down at the teenager. “I’m not sure. Was there a joke I missed, Peter?” 

Peter just grinned, trying to keep his laughter down as the waitress asked if they wanted to dine in or carry out. “I feel blessed in this Chili’s tonight.”

“Why?”

“It’s just a joke, Thor.”

“How is it a joke if it’s not funny?”

“I have to agree with him on this one.” Loki interjected, looking distastefully at the young Avenger. 

“You guys wouldn’t get it if I tried to explain it to you.”

With enough persistence from Thor, and Loki complaining that the lights were too bright and he was ready to leave, Peter ended up showing the two of them the vine. Neither one of them laughed, but only looked more confused. Mildly concerned, as well. 

“Why is that young man shirtless?” Thor asked, blinking at the screen as he replayed the video for the tenth time. “He doesn’t look like he’s dressed in the proper attire to be working at an establishment like this.”

Peter giggled, taking the phone back before Thor broke the replay button. “It’s just supposed to be weird. It’s funny, I don’t know.”

“That man looks like he needs help.” Loki muttered, rolling his eyes at the screen. 

Peter sighed, handing the waitress a tip. “Let’s just get our food and go.”

* * *

 

Back at the tower, Peter had found himself lounging on the couch. Loki was arguing with Thor about the leftover in the fridge, and Peter was really sick of hearing Loki whine. It was a normal occurence in the tower for Loki to complain, but there was only so much everyone could take. 

“You ate my leftovers!” Loki shouted, looking like he was about to throw hands with his brother. “They had my name on them!” 

“I didn’t eat your stupid food, Loki. Go interrogate someone else.” Thor mumbled, trying to scroll through his Twitter. 

“Who else would?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe any of the other team mates living in this tower?”

Peter sighed loudly, rolling on his side. He noticed a can of Glade air spray sitting on the coffee table, and he knew this was his chance. 

“Why you mad?” Peter asked mockingly, fake sympathy in his tone.

Loki turned to him, his face sour. “What do you mean? I’ve been complaining about it for thirty minutes!”

“Why you sad?”

“What?”

“When you could get, glad.” With that, he sprayed Loki in the face with the Glade. 

He had never heard Loki scream so loud; but he also had never heard Thor laugh so hard. 

Glade air freshner was banned in the tower after that incident. 

* * *

 

Peter wasn’t sure what Sam and Scott were talking about, but he knew he had come in at the right time. 

“Humans are at the top of the food chain.” Sam was explaining, one hand on the table. 

“That doesn’t mean you have to disrespect the things lower than us, though.” Scott defended, obviously talking about his ants. Peter knew, Scott didn’t have to explain himself. 

“There’s only one race-the  _human_  race.” 

A glimmer of hope flashed in Peter for a split second, wondering if Sam actually watched vines. He ran from the other room, nearly tripping over the rug in the living room. 

He came up behind Sam, smacking him upside the head with a loud  _thwack_! 

“What about Nascar?” Peter shouted, giving Sam an incredulous look. Sam’s mouth was agape, and Scott seemed just as shocked. They both turned to Peter, and with a sinking feeling, Peter soon realized that Sam had never seen that vine in his entire life. 

Peter avoided Sam for a week after that. 

* * *

 

T’Challa and Bucky were not very amused by the fact that Peter had taken an old news clip of them chasing one another, and had put the ‘why are you running’ vine over it.

* * *

 

Steve was laying on the couch, doodling in his sketchbook as Tony wondered into the room, looking at Peter. The teenager was sprawled out on the floor, his phone hovering above his face. 

His eyes were starting to close, his position on the floor becoming too comfortable. The sound of Steve sketching on his paper were soothing to him, and he enjoyed it when almost all of the Avengers were out of the tower. Steve was a calming comfort to the team. 

“Hey, Pete, what do you want for lunch?” Tony asked, holding a spatula in his hand as he hovered in the doorway. 

Peter’s eyes fluttered open for a second, taking in the sight of Tony. “Oh, sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich.” 

Tony blinked, staring for a moment. “Does that mean you want a sandwich, then?”

Steve glanced down at Peter, his face completely serious as he stared Peter dead in the eyes. “Go back to sleep, and starve.”

Peter’s mouth was slightly agape as a huge grin spread on his face. He fell back onto the floor, holding his stomach as he laughed. Tony was still completely confused, but Steve was grinning down at the broken mess of Peter Parker on the floor. 

Peter wasn’t really laughing about the vine reference itself, but for the fact that Steve Rogers, the man out of time, had known a vine reference out of everyone in this tower. He must have been catching on to more than they thought. 

Peter reached up, giving Steve a high five. Tony was soon demanding answers about these weird phrases, so Peter and Steve tried explaining them to him. They even showed him a few of their favorites. 

Tony disconnected the internet for an entire month after that. 


End file.
